Love and other Drama (an oxymoron)

It may be some time before I learn if it's actually okay to hit on cute girls in retail.

Or:

The Love Life of Action Jackson, in Three Consecutive Days

Act 1: Awkwardness, with a dose of self-righteous Fury
The scene opens with the kind of silence that has surely been going on for 4-5 months. Violins begin playing, full of angst and old guitar riffs (e.g., Summer of 69, Livin' on a Prayer). [action] enters with crowd, lots of noise, laughter, happiness. Perhaps several of them toss a beach ball, with a smiley face painted on it. [K] enters. Suddenly: Crowd noise diminishes only slightly, but laughter becomes surreal, ephemereal. We observe quickly that [action] and [K] speak to everyone but each other. Finally, [action] approaches. Consider interpretative dance for the following dialogue:
[action]: Distraction! Avoidance is Anger, Void, drain of happiness.
[K]: Do Not Assume! Not for Me!
[action]: [exits]
Beach ball pops and deflates. Off-stage cacophony of it's not worth it! and you can't change her! Consider fire effects.

Act 2: Intrigue, with elements of Excitement
Dr. Goodall: You should be careful with her. She's moving to [...] in* 6 months.
me: [eyes light up... goofy grin... then mouth works, but no sound]
Dr. Goodall: [laughing] I've left you speechless, haven't I!
me: Well... I appreciate your "warning." [grins again] It's crossed my mind.
Dr. Goodall: [laughter**]

*The word "in" should be pronounced in such a way so that it may also be heard as "for." Intoxication of audience is recommended. Also, be sure to have super-intriguing music in the background, like Al Foul & The Shakes.

**This laughter should include strong elements of you're ridiculous and a pinch of good-natured you're kinda cute, but I don't know what my friend sees in you.

Act 3: Resolution, but only in the Fantasy World, or... the [action]-story
Setting: Summit Hut. [action] walks in, searching, eyes cast upward, leftward, backward everywhere-ward. Several sales staff approach, all with "Supporting Role" marked on their nametag. [action] ignores robotic greetings, buys map of the Chiricahuas, and leaves. Hmm, he ponders in the safety of his '96 Oldsmobile. Perhaps she was working here on a Sunday, that time a year ago... [action] pulls out camera, takes the photo displayed above.

[Leave curtain up, under the guise of maintaining suspense, while the audience grows increasingly bored/perplexed/disgusted.]