Sunday, May 27, 2007

at least the rotten fallen tree is gone


Another casualty to the Arizona sun.

Nop.bot likes to follow the little Asian* lady strategy. According to him: see, the way I figure it, walking around with an umbrella isn't going to prevent me from having sex. the girls that wouldn't have sex with me because I carry an umbrella wouldn't have sex with me anyway. as long as I live my life by this principle, I figure I'm doing pretty good.

Song of the Day: Neil Young - Come on Baby, Let's Go Downtown

* By the way, is this PC? Apparently Oriental is no longer appropriate... is that true? Anyway, I attribute umbrellas to Chinese and Japanese women both. I guess that might make me a racist anyway, so maybe I can use any racial descriptor I damn well please.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

he was making out with her first, how was I to know that he was bi?


I was reading the New Yorker when I came across this lovely little gem. Now the poems in the New Yorker are usually unimpressive (they just have no rhythm, said the old guy in my last community theater play)... but this one was ridiculous. Your aluminum softball baseball bat drooped like a penis when you saw your abusive dad? That's not just a shitty forced metaphor, it's also not even that interesting. It reminds me of a guy I know, who we'll call bi, who just sent me a text message. Bi's effort to be interesting is to be shocking. While this is fun from a distance, it doesn't hold up one-on-one. Insert your forced penis metaphor here.

Lately I've been noticing that some of the articles in the New Yorker are actually bad. I can't tell if this is some sort of graduation on my part, finally rising beyond simple worship of the magazine's liberal elitism and show of polish... or if I've read so much that I've grown too elitist.

Song of the Day: Beastie Boys - The New Style

Sunday, May 20, 2007

rraj


This weekend...
Friday: Enjoying the newly smoke-free bars, med students, the old man going toe-to-toe
Saturday: Red Elvises (above)
Sunday: BBQ, and the cherry wheat isn't that bad

It's gonna be a good summer. Although one of the med students did inform us fellas that we're 5 times more likely to get throat cancer from giving oral sex to women than from smoking. That's unfortunate.

Song of the Day: Spoon - I Turn My Camera On

Friday, May 18, 2007

long lost


Yeah, it's back. I'll be posting again more regularly, though maybe to the tune of 3-4 times a week, rather than every day.

Here are 10 things I've done since my last post, in no particular order:

1. Made (and ate) pie
2. Watched meth addicts awkwardly dance at a folk festival
3. Gone to court fully intending to fight a ticket, then pleaded "responsible" and paid it anyway
4. Saw a musical satire of Pirates ofthe Carribbean
5. Threw two hammers in a frisbee league game (and was the only person on the team to throw any at all)
6. Spent an afternoon trying to clean & fix my bike, mainly resulting in streams of curses and getting covered in grease
7. Listened to my beloved Red Sox almost every day while they turned the Yankees and others into their personal bitches
8. Brewed a cherry wheat beer, which actually seems to far exceed our expectations as solely a device for scamming on teenage girls
9. Insisted on splitting up instead of doing the long-distance thing with a girlfriend of 1-2 months as she moved away for the summer (technically, she [at least initially] wanted to avoid the long-distance connection thing too)
10. Been caught flagrantly breaking the law at a Bright Eyes show, but was too intoxicated to care, even while the man let me walk

Song of the Day: Neil Young - Revolution Blues